Love yourself enough to stop torturing yourself! I have found that most people spend so much of their day beating themselves up and torturing themselves with self-criticism, but people who have this “brain type” that we refer to as adhd, have unfortunately often mastered this. It probably starts in school — you know, the round peg in the square hole. “Just try harder.” “Why can’t you just get this done?” “Just focus!” And in the meantime, your mind is wondering in a million other directions, clearly on things that are far more interesting than algebra! Your first thought is, Try harder? Are you freaking kidding me??? But then the next thought is, What the hell is wrong with you? Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am just lazy.
And there it begins. The cycle of self-criticism!
While receiving a diagnosis can be helpful for treatment purposes, all too often, you then become defined by the diagnosis. Not only does it add to the negative thoughts, but it somehow justifies them!
This truly breaks my heart, because the truth of the matter is, people who have this “brain type”, are some of the most gifted and talented people on the planet! They are also the most sensitive, compassionate and kind. They come into this world “perfect” but then life happens. And they buy into the bullshit of “try harder”. Their sensitivity becomes “drama”. Their creativity becomes “distraction”. Their enthusiasm becomes “impulsivity.” And they forget just how “perfect” they are. They no longer see the gifts or the talents; they see the struggles and the challenges.
And let’s face it. It’s not like all of this self-criticism is having a positive impact on your life. Hell, no! Every time you beat yourself up, you’re digging the hole that you’re stuck in, a little bit deeper.
So if the self torture isn’t working, why not try a dose of Self Love? Take some time today, even just a few minutes, and jot down all that you appreciate about yourself. What do you like about yourself? What are your gifts? What do you value most about yourself? What is it about you that you are grateful for? Write it down and carry it with you. Throughout the day, take it out, read it, add to it (yes — add to it, because there’s plenty to be grateful for!), and say “Thank you!”